Children with Special Needs need a lot of support. At times, this support does not come quickly or how we had imagined. This article is a reminder that at all times, you need to be gentle on yourself and on those who work with your child.
My favourite book is Anam Cara, I reread this last week. His words echo something that we are all guilty of forgetting:
No one else has access to the world you carry around within you; you are its custodian and entrance.
No one else can see the world the way you see it.
No one else can feel your life the way you feel it.
Thus it is impossible to ever compare two people because each stands on such different ground.
When you compare yourself to others, you are inviting envy into your consciousness; it can be a dangerous and destructive guest
Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom
Children with Special Needs are involved with a variety of agencies. The different therapists sometimes don’t work under one umbrella so you end up going back and forth, increasing your workload and possibly your stress levels.
With unnecessary increased stress, we can find ourselves becoming judgmental. Judgement can be a dangerous thing as it gets us into a thought loop of negative thinking. Therefore, when dealing with people who are working to get something for your child with special needs, remember this:
First of all, when we feel stressed and feel that the world is against us we still need to remember that we have no idea what the person opposite us is going through.
Our burdens, our worries, our anxieties cannot be measured against theirs for we really cannot tell what others are going through.
Therefore, when you pick up the phone to ring and find out about why an appointment is taking so long, or email only to get an out of office reply, take a deep breath. That person goes into their job everyday and believes they are doing the best they can with what they have been given. The faulty system can only be changed when small changes take place.
Getting irate with someone you can’t put a face on achieves what? You’ll have made a person you don’t know feel bad about their life is one answer.
Above all, convey the facts to those who need to know facts. These facts can include how you are feeling without getting personal.
Be gentle on yourself, you are doing the best you can.
Be gentle on others, they do are doing the same.