Surrendering to What Is
Think of something in your life that you’ve been trying to solve for a long time. Maybe it has been a change you want for yourself, a change you want in your partner, a fear of poverty. Whatever it is, have you tried hard to control this? And all your efforts seem to be in vain?
Setting up a business, I tried to control everything. I found a journal from 2017 last week and I had a check list. This list was all about me, the seller, and very little mentioned the potential buyer. And that year I really struggled as I tried in vain to control every aspect of a business that was in its infancy days. Anything in its infancy days needs space to breathe and figure itself out. Strict control is a recipe for disaster.
To succeed, and by succeed, mean to find happiness in your very core. Let go of judgement. Noticing the judgemental thoughts as they come up mostly come with a caveat of should and must. Obsessing with how things should be instead of how they are, causes pain. It gives me a knot in my throat, how does it show up for you? And trying to control a situation, is dysfunctional to say the least. Life, just like you, is fluid, not stagnant. Getting caught in judgemental thoughts over others behaviour and the way things should be right now is hard going mentally.
Surrendering can be a Win
Simplify your life. Who are you in competition with? Maybe it is a colleague at work, a friend who seems to have a life you envy. Is it is a sibling or someone you follow on social media? Recognising that competitive feeling when we think about certain people can open doors for us. Because if you feel a tinge of competitiveness with someone, have the awareness to ask yourself why am I feeling competitive here?
Quit that race. At the end of the day, it’s a race against yourself. See others as a part of your community and not a barometer of comparison. I promise you, as you sense emotions through your heart and not your head, your sense of self-compassion will deepen.
Mental stories can be wild, adventurous, exciting and mentally draining. Letting go of the stories you have formed about yourself and others might guide you into a new frame of mind. A new frame of mind can be full of hope and not despair.
Yes, this is a time of huge upheaval right now. But it is a time to look at the stories you’re telling yourself, figuring out if they are true and if they serve a purpose. If they don’t serve a purpose, you can tell the story that its job is done and it can totter off.
In his book The Surrender Experiment, Michael Singer said:
I could see that the practice of surrender was actually done in two, very distinct steps: first, you let go of the personal reactions of like and dislike that form inside your mind and heart; and second, with the resultant sense of clarity, you simply look to see what is being asked of you by the situation unfolding in front of you. […] Following that deeper guidance will take your life in a very different direction from where your preferences would have led you.
Albert Einstein said The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.
I choose to in a friendly universe. Surrendering what I can’t control and believing that the right support is there for me when I need it is my choice.
I invite you to find a story that you can surrender. Note the reactions that form and investigate them.
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so – Shakespeare.
Whatever narrative in your life that you are trying to control, surrender a part of it. Choose the abundance of choice and the possibility that stories can and do change.
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